Have you ever been invited to a social gathering or party, and instead of being excited, you’re filled with worry that you won’t know anyone, or that you’ll run out of conversation…or just FREEZE?!
If this sounds familiar – DON’T panic, I’m right there with you! Most of us can feel a little nervous or insecure at some point in large social gatherings…that’s just natural!
So to combat those ‘social butterflies’, check out my video for a few tried and tested party tricks that may just help you feel more confident and relaxed at your next outing!
If you find yourself socially anxious and have a stream of negative thoughts running on a loop through your head, such as “I look awkward,” or “No one is talking to me,” just make the whole situation worse and actually only serve to keep you feeling shy and self-conscious.
Aim to BREAK the habit of negative thoughts by becoming aware of when you’re falling prey to them and by challenging their logic.
For example, just because you’re nervous in a crowd or at a party doesn’t mean you look awkward…in fact, others around you are probably nervous too!
Challenge yourself to replace a negative thought with a positive one. This works and makes you feel instantly more confident.
A smile sends happy signals to the brain, even when you feel nervous. So simple but it works.
A smile sends happy signals to the brain, even when you feel nervous and uncomfortable.
Try right now, see for yourself! You’ll feel instantly happier and more relaxed. Plus, you’ll LOOK more relaxed and confidence.
Position yourself around the buffet table; it makes for easy conversations, and when people eat, their endorphin levels rise, which puts them in a better mood. Eating also gives you something to do and takes away that awkward feeling of being a little lost at a party!
…is a compliment!
Compliments make us ALL feel good. Sincere compliments can revolutionize how people feel about you, because when a compliment is given well, it touches the core of who that person is. It affirms the best aspects of who they are and what they are made of. A powerful compliment is a valuable gift you give to others – a way of expressing gratitude and good will in the world. Let’s all give more compliments and feel the benefit!
It’s great to say something like “Wow – I love the colour your wearing” but go one step further and be specific about what it is about the colour that makes it nice on that person. For example, “The color of that top really compliments your brown eyes.”
A great compliment is about acknowledging the positives about another person. Acknowledgement is powerful because so often, good things go unacknowledged. Compliments are a wonderful way to break the ice, make you and the person you give one to feel good PLUS they’re fantastic at opening a relaxed and warm-hearted conversation!
People often dismiss small talk as superficial and boring. I say don’t be so quick to dismiss it!
Small talk is an essential part of our daily lives. It allows us to engage and identify common ground with safe, low-risk topics. It paves the way for deeper connection and potentially life long friendships! Let’s enjoy it and embrace it!
Try to make a connection. Figure out what the other person is passionate about that is relatable to your life. You might have to do a bit of digging first but on the whole, most people like food, TV and films, so these are ALWAYS good places to start.
One way to make small talk more engaging is to ask open-ended questions that invite people to tell stories, rather than give one-word answers.
Instead of these…
“How was your day?”
“Where are you from?”
“What do you do?”
“What’s your name?”
“How was your weekend?”
“How are you?”
“What’s the best thing that happened today?”
“What’s the strangest thing about where you grew up?”
“What does your name mean?” (If they say, “I don’t know,” reply, “What would you like it to mean?”)
“What are you looking forward to this week?”
“What’s your favourite restaurant/book/film/?”
“What is your ‘Can’t Miss’ TV show?”
I hope these tips help – they ALWAYS help me!
You never know, you could end up making some new life-long friends!
Makeup Artist | Stylist | Founder of Beautyandtheboutique.com