I have, for as long as I can remember, suffered with a skin condition called Psoriasis which can flare up at any time. This can make me feel quite self-conscious when it comes to my skin. So when I met up with a friend for coffee last Wednesday, I was taken aback when she told me how great my skin looked.
I held back the urge to say, “really? I felt my red patches still looked bad?” and instead said, “Thanks, that means a lot to me”. This small compliment had given me a BIG confidence boost.
My experience in the coffee shop got me thinking about the hidden power of ‘The Compliment’.
The problem is we don’t want people to think we’re conceited, and by being seen to agree with a compliment we feel as if we’re saying, “Yes, you’re right – aren’t I AMAZING!” But this is where we are wrong. Deflecting the compliment by contradicting the other person, just makes them feel bad or embarrassed, and may even put them off giving further compliments in future.
Ignore the urge to brush it off with, “This old thing – I’ve had it for years” or “Oh I don’t, I look awful” which would be my usual response to kind words. It really is as easy as just saying “Thanks”.
Think about it, if you told someone they looked good wouldn’t you rather hear, “Thank you, that’s made my day”? I know I would. So next time someone compliments you (even if you don’t agree!) don’t contradict them, just graciously accept their kindness with a smile and a BIG “Thank You”!
Not only does saying ‘thanks’ boost the givers self-esteem, but it does amazing things for you as well.
Giving a genuine compliment spreads positive energy and encourages your own feel good levels. It may even make you start seeing all the good qualities within YOU!
Try it for yourself. Compliment someone every day for a week. You don’t need to fake it (false flattery is easily spotted), and don’t give a compliment in hope to get one back – fishing for compliments is not the idea!! But we can all find one nice thing to say about someone. And it doesn’t have to be about how they look either. It could be anything from, “You’re such a great friend” to “You handled that situation brilliantly”. Watch their reaction. See what their response is. I’m pretty sure you’ll both end up feeling great!
Who doesn’t want a bit more happiness in their every day? Compliments make us ALL feel special, acknowledged and well, simply happier people – and if you’re happy, chances are the people around you will in turn also be happier. And feeling happy make us smile more, which make us feel good on the inside…and out! And when we feel good, we look good. So go out there and spread the JOY.
We all need a compliment now and then. When we pay a friend, colleague or even a complete stranger a compliment, we are building each other up, which creates confidence, trust and leads to stronger bonds and relationships in life. And guess what? We’re building ourselves up at the same time too!
Compliments can help make new social interactions easier too because let’s face it, we all love being around positive people – it’s easier and WAY more fun. Who knows, a new great friend may just be a compliment away!!
How amazing is it to think that we all have it within ourselves to change someone’s day simply by saying something positive?
A kind act takes NO time but it can really have a huge impact on that person – maybe they’re having a bad day or struggling with confidence issues – whatever it may be, your compliment may be just what they needed to hear today.
A sincere compliment is like a little gift of love. So don’t think twice. Give the gift that keeps giving.
Makeup Artist | Stylist | Founder of Beautyandtheboutique.com